Where’s Tammy?

Where have I been?  not sure, mentally anyway.  the depression has been kicking my butt lately.  It seems like waves in the ocean.  It pulls back and I can breathe, then comes back and knocks me down.  I get back up and do it all over again.
Guess the point is to keep getting back up, right?
I do.  I’m not giving up.  My God is so much bigger than this ocean.  Even if it seems to go on forever.  I get stronger each time I breathe.  And He’s always the One picking me back up.  Even when I make myself fall.  Sin’s like getting caught up in seaweed, I think it looks like fun to play in, even though I know I’ll get tangled up and caught up.  I won’t be able to brace myself for the next wave.  I ask for my Father’s help and He picks me back up.  He protects me from the waves and the sharks.  He hasn’t taken me out of the water yet, I guess there’s swimming lessons I still need to learn.
So, why all the ocean talk???  Hmmm… maybe because I’m prepping for my next mission trip, to Costa Rica!  I’m so excited (well, as excited as this phlegmatic personality can be anyway!).  I’ll be there for 2 weeks in July with a team from Colorado.  And a friend from my home church is going with me!  It’ll be her first mission trip, yay! We’ll be helping out a church down there.  Wow, God calls me to some of the hardest, roughest places, I know 😉
I’m looking for financial and prayer partners for this trip.  Let me know if you’d like to help in both or either area.
The weight loss journey… well, kinda been at a stand still.  I’ve gained back 48 lbs since my lowest weight (early 2011).  It makes me mad and upset with myself, but I’ve been fighting other battles, so this had to go to the sidelines.  
The MS is still in remission.  I stopped taking my injection about 5 months ago, because almost every time I did it, I screamed out in pain.  I saw my neurologist last week and we’re going to try the new drug on the market.  Its a pill!  Possible scary side effects, but my God is bigger than that too, and nothing that can’t be fixed.
I feel like a bad friend.  If you’re close to me and don’t think so, that’s awesome.  But if you used to be close to me and it seems like I’ve dropped you, I’m sorry.  (insert a ton of excuses)  But it’s not that I really meant too.  Blame MS, blame depression, blame busy lifestyles, blame the things that we don’t seem to have in common anymore… blame life.  But please don’t take it personal.
OK, enough of that!  Gotta run and get back to work, hope you all are well!  I love feedback, so feel free to leave some! 

Published by tammyk777

I want to be as open as possible, safely anyway. If I've been set free in something, maybe I can encourage someone else to seek God and they can be free too!

2 thoughts on “Where’s Tammy?

  1. I love your analogy of depression with the waves, so appropriate!!! I know, I’ve been there myself for probably the past two years since being diagnosed with RSD (reflex sympathetic dystrophy) and having daily pain. Love you girl!


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