The Fantasy Fallacy by Shannon Ethridge – book review

Not really sure where to begin with this one…  let’s go with the ‘official’ book description:


Book Description

Erotica has invaded more than our minds – it has exploded onto our bestseller lists and into our bedrooms.

Many are looking to sexual and emotional fantasies as avenues to fulfillment. Our fantasies, however, are not reliable guides into the future—they are actually rocky road maps from our past. Best-selling author Shannon Ethridge theorizes, “Fantasies are simply the brain’s way of trying to heal itself from unresolved tragedies and traumas. We mentally compartmentalized our pain to make room for pleasure.”

Fantasies have deep psychological roots, and if acted on many of them can do deep psychological damage. Rather than let fantasies rule us, let’s take out the sting and bring them under God’s rule, allowing the Lord to heal us from the brokenness and insecurities that cause inappropriate fantasies to haunt us.

Without being judgmental or condemning, Shannon helps us dissect several common and often-disturbing topics, such as:

  • a distorted fascination with pornography
  • the mental pursuit of multiple partners
  • the lure of gay and lesbian desires
  • bondage, domination, and sadomasochism (BDSM)

With tips for controlling unwanted fantasies and resources for providing a safe haven for recovery, The Fantasy Fallacy helps us recognize and heal our emotional pain and equips us to help others do the same.

My book review

When browsing through Booksneeze‘s list of available books, this one caught my eye.  Partly because there aren’t a lot of books out there on this topic, partly because I’ve dealt with some of the issues Shannon addresses in the book.  Wow, that wasn’t all that easy to say.  But, my blog is about “Being Real” so there you go.

I recommend this book to anyone who actually got through the description without being totally grossed out.  If it made you blush or offended you, maybe you should consider picking up a copy.  If you’ve struggled with fantasy this book could be a good start, or addition, to your walk to freedom.

The author’s approach to facing the fantasy, or fantasies if the case may be, identifying it for what it could be showing you, was a little odd to me at first.  But, she’s coming from a psychologist and minister’s view-point so I decided to hear her out.  I’ll give her props, facing some of mine through reading the book, with A LOT of prayer, gave me deeper insight into what issues I was really dealing with.  And most of all, how to overcome them.

As a single gal, however, I did feel the book wasn’t totally what I had hoped for, but I’ve learned that tends to be the case.  Remembering that one day I’ll get married, and want to honor ‘him’, this book was a great help.  Remembering that Jesus is my eternal Husband, even more so.  Sexual fantasy is something single, celibate people deal with too, and simply being told to funnel our energy elsewhere, can be frustrating and disappointing.

There were times I skipped over sections that didn’t concern me.  I’ve got enough issues on my plate, I don’t necessarily need to read about others.  Might sound selfish, not meant to be, but that seemed the healthiest thing for me to do at the time.

Overall, this book is a nice addition to my library and I’m sure it’ll help me help others down the road.


book was free from in return for this review.  all opinions are my own.

Published by tammyk777

I want to be as open as possible, safely anyway. If I've been set free in something, maybe I can encourage someone else to seek God and they can be free too!

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