Mid-May 2021

This meme came up in my FB memories yesterday. How little did we know last year what the world would look like today. Well, it’s always like that, but that’s a topic for another day.

I have felt stuck and listless for months now. Last year I felt burnout which turned out to be compassion fatigue. This led to me applying for and promoting to a new position at work. It’s been 3 months and I really like what I’m doing and don’t feel as drained and exhausted. I’ve really benefitted from the freedom to work from home most of the time as well. However, I’ve lost a sense of routine. I still start and end work around the same time just without the need to fully get ready before or turn off after. There’s something to be said about dressing in non-loungewear, putting on makeup, packing a lunch, leaving the house, working at a desk, chatting with coworkers, shutting down the computer, driving home, and changing into pajamas. Meal prep hasn’t felt necessary in a long time so I end up without a plan for the food I have in the fridge. I eat what and whenever I feel the desire. This floating through the days isn’t working for me anymore. It’s spread to so many areas in life and I don’t feel the drive to get things done or accomplished within any sort of time frame. I don’t like my new normal, I need more structure.

I’m not so naive to think diving full into a lot of structure is a healthy thing though! I’ll start by going into the office at least 3 days a week for a bit and build from there. I’m setting up a weekly schedule after I finish writing this. Not so that I have every minute mapped out, I know that would overwhelm me and I’d give up fast. I guess all this enlightenment is a benefit of getting older…

Maybe I’ll even put writing on that schedule… 😉 Don’t laugh, it could happen!

PS if you get a chance, Google “languishing.” It might help you understand what you or a friend is feeling right now.

Published by tammyk777

I want to be as open as possible, safely anyway. If I've been set free in something, maybe I can encourage someone else to seek God and they can be free too!

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