Since my exciting news in my last post 3 months ago, I have gained back half of what I lost. I try to look on the bright side that I’m still down and clothes fit better or are too big. The truth is I really enjoy food. I admit that it is a coping mechanism for anxiety, depression, and chronic pain. But just because I know that doesn’t make change easy, or even possible at the moment.
I was contemplating this along with other facets of life that I don’t feel in control of currently. Besides weight/eating, there’s also finances and spirituality. There are many things that branch off from these, so what’s the root?
I can say affirmations like that I’m healthy and make wise food choices, or that I’m satisfied with what I have in life and don’t need to spend money, or that I’m a person who prays constantly and frequently meditates on God. I can and do say these things to myself, all the time. Usually right before I do the opposite: eat extra calories, buy a new gadget or craft supply, or binge a TV show or 10. The point is who I want to be and who I am haven’t been the same woman in a long time.
How does one change?
The only answer is Jesus. Note I didn’t say spirituality. I can do all the religious disciplines, which aren’t necessarily bad things in and of themselves; however, all of that is me attempting to earn grace. His grace and His anointing break the binds of the stuff that hold me down. Those are free gifts from Him, I just have to accept them. I accept them by accepting Him and spending time with Him.
The root, then, seems to me to be cultivating my relationship with Him (seek His Kingdom, aka Him, first Matthew 6:33). Not going through the acts, but making efforts to acknowledge Him throughout my day. Maybe I don’t do that well, but I gotta start somewhere.
I’ve been listening to a podcast and one of the recent subjects has been Simon versus Peter. How it’s the same man, but two different aspects of his life. When he meets Jesus, he’s Simon. As he spends time with Jesus and gets to know Who He is, Jesus renames him Peter. It doesn’t mean that all of the ‘Simon’ is gone. There are times when he is addressed as one and then other. This morning the one that got me was that when he was denying Jesus and the rooster crowed, Jesus turned and looked at him and he was called Peter (Luke 22:61). I would have thought that’d been a Simon moment, but it’s like Jesus saw the Peter that would stand up in Acts 2 and testify of Him before thousands. He would later be crucified for his preaching of the Gospel.
Amazing what the power of a witnessing a Resurrection and filling of the Holy Spirit can do for a person.
Yeah, for me too! And you!
Bragging on the Lord 