End of April 2022

It wasn’t planned or intentional, but apparently I needed a break. I don’t know if this is just a drop by or if I’m back to writing, but time will tell.

‘They’ say this comes with getting older, but the concept of time has changed so much in the past 2 years. I get to the end of the business day on Friday and think, “Wasn’t it just Monday? Where did the week go?” Heck, where did the first trimester of 2022 go?

MS news: during my annual check up with my neurologist, I might some answers about the pain I’ve been in for so long. There may be a lesion in a pain center. Yay, answer… bo, not much can be done. But, God. My MRI’s haven’t changed since 2016 – Praise the Lord! There are still residual lesions and complications, but no new activity. That’s so amazing y’all! For the pain (mostly sciatic like in my right leg and then general muscle pains), I’ll continue with physical therapy, massage, chiropractor/acupressure, stretching, etc., etc.

Related to that, I am off a couple of medications prescribed to help with RLS and pain. Neither helped, so out of the 7 pills I was on, I’m down to 1 every other night. No meds seem to work so far, which is part of why I’m pro-legalizing marijuana, but that’s a topic for another day.

I’m seeing a new doctor next week, this one for weight management. The HCG lost last year was nice, but I gained a lot of it back. A friend recommended this doctor because her daughter-in-law had amazing success with him 5 or so years ago and lost 100+ and has kept it off. Part of me wonders if he’ll have anything I haven’t attempted in my 30+ years of trying to lose weight. But it’s worth checking out. I won’t do surgery, I know this is mental and hormonal.

In other news, I leave in a week for a domestic mission trip! Going with a small team to Hamtramck, MI to help with community outreach. We’ll be there for almost a week and will be a part of church services, urban gardening, ESL classes, and learning from the culture. The population is mostly Muslim immigrants, so while I won’t leave the country, I will leave my culture a little.

Also going to CO in June to celebrate my friends’ daughter’s HS graduation. We’ve been friends since 1999 and they moved a few years ago. I’m excited to celebrate with them and get a 10-day vacation in the mountains!!

There were some updates on life. Here’s a spiritual lesson I’m learning

Many years ago, a friend of mine cautioned that I’m a chameleon. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, he was just giving me a glimpse into why I do some things and to encourage me to be mindful of who I spend my time around. Another way to put that is being an empath. I take on the vibe of a room or a conversation, and absorb the feelings of those around me. I can be energized at a party or drained in stressful meetings. I can be in one mood alone and then a totally different one depending on the atmosphere of a person or group. This happens with movies and books too. While this trait is wonderful when walking with someone in their life, it can be detrimental as well. I can take the negative as well as the positive. The ‘problem’ or ‘issue’ becomes mine and I want to help, but it’s most likely not my burden or problem to deal with. I’ve been in relationships with narcissistic people and been gaslit. I could be in a healthy conversation with someone who cares about me and acknowledge that I needed to end the bad relationship, only to be 2 minutes into the conversation and think there’s nothing wrong with the person and that my friends and family were mean and that I was crazy. Ugh, wasted years! But God has turned a lot of those bad decisions for my good; I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for His grace.

Mirroring others’ emotions can be good too. It helps me be a good friend or minister. The biggest lesson out of all this that I’m learning right now is finding who I am when no one is around. If I mirror who I’m around, what happens when I spend a lot of time alone? I can feel numb and lose track of time. But, I’m not alone! God is always with me! If I want to be more like Jesus, I can use the empathy He designed me with to take on His personality. Being an empath is a blessing when used wisely. My assignment at the moment is to determine my values and boundaries so I do not lose myself and who He made me to be.

Published by tammyk777

I want to be as open as possible, safely anyway. If I've been set free in something, maybe I can encourage someone else to seek God and they can be free too!

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