Last weekend, I was part of a women’s conference held by my and other area churches. During one of the sessions, my pastor called up anyone with a prophetic calling. SHE encouraged, released, and admonished us to let our voices be heard. So, I felt it time to get back to writing.

I’ve had a blog since 2009 and have 381 published posts. Even though I started paying for my site in 2020 or 2021 and believed photojournalism was a calling on my life, my writing and posting drastically took a nose drive. I have things to share, topics in mind to explore, and so many more photos to show, but I lost my drive. I sort of wondered why but didn’t put too much thought to uncovering the reasons.

Until last weekend, that is. Some of the muzzling was self-inflected but the enemy of my soul took that and ran with it. See, in 2015-2019 I was in a relationship with someone who, at the time, I was certain was “the one.” I wrote about us a lot, so when I ended things, I felt like a hypocrite and I knew he might still read my posts. He used some of my vulnerability in my early posts against me. When I cut ties, I blocked his number and email, and eventually started a new site, even though the old site directs you here. I stopped sharing my life publicly to protect myself. At first that was exactly what I needed to do. But that was 6+ years ago and it’s time to take off the muzzle.

I fully believe one of the enemy’s most used tactics to make someone believe they are the only one who goes through or struggles with something. His forces use shame and isolation to make one feel alone and unloved. With thoughts like, “How can God love ME?” or “Surely I’m too broken for Christ’s grace” or “No one understands, no one has ever dealt with this.” These are LIES! God does love you, His grace is enough for all our brokenness, and no temptation or struggle is uncommon. We just let the shame cloud our vision of the 8 billion people on the Earth and the billions who came before us, whose stories and struggles we will never know.

We overcome by His blood and our testimony. It gives Him glory when I tell you how I’ve become victorious, through Jesus’ grace and mercy, over narcissistic, emotional, and religious abuse, self-hate, depression, binge eating, addictions, and so much more.

So, please forgive me for being silent. Forgive me for not sharing the amazing things He has been doing in my life and in those around me. Forgive me for letting shame and fear muzzle my voice.

Let’s be real again.