depression testimony (giving at Costa Rica and thought I’d share here too)

In the past few years, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Multiple Sclerosis and depression.  For a little over 2 years (mid 2010 through about 2 months ago) I hated my life and my body.  I felt like nothing worked correctly and knowing that in Heaven I’d have a glorified body without any illness, I wanted to die.  I never attempted to take my life, but I knew how I would.  I didn’t really take care of myself either.  Now I’m paying for that, but that’s besides the point.  But, during that time I actually grew closer to God.  I felt like I didn’t have anyone, or if I did, they wouldn’t understand, so I poured my heart to Him.  I kinda went through the motions with everything from work to church, but doing anything at home exhausted me.   There were times when just taking care of my cat was the only thing that kept me going.

I got counseling and kept working with my doctors to find the right medications.  I started blogging to share my journey and, hopefully, to let people know they are not alone in their struggles. 2 months ago I finished the counseling program and we figured out a medication combination that worked, and for the first time in 2 years I could function.  Now the depression has no control over me, through the power of God and the wisdom He gave the doctors.  There are times when I feel sad, but not overtaken with despair.  I know God has a plan for my life, somethings to glorify His name. And as Paul said, to die is gain but to live is Christ.  I have a passion for Heaven, I know there’s an amazing place we can go when we leave this Earth, and I here to help bring as many people there with me.