Mid-April 2019

Apologies for the radio silence the past couple months. A lot going on as usual!

My doctor reduced my antidepressant back in late Jan or early Feb. Feb was a good month, I actually started having feelings I didn’t realize I hadn’t in a while and started caring about some things again. Well, this proved to be not so great as I learned to handle some emotions again, but it’ll be for the best in the long-term. Had a couple rough weeks recently though, not sure if it was a mini withdrawal period or I was stuck in a funk. But when I realized what was going on, I kind of snapped out of it.

With actually caring and my metabolism starting to regulate some, I lost 10 pounds and 3 inches off my waist in the month of Feb alone! Gained a few back in March, but already lost those again. I can really feel the increased muscle definition in my legs specifically. Feels good 🙂

Work has been crazy stressful. Too many issues I can’t really go into here for the sake of the company’s privacy and stuff, but a lot of pressure for compliance and budgeting is making people do and say things that aren’t necessarily HR acceptable. And being physically in the epicenter of leadership, you can almost tangibly feel the tension. I was having a hard time leaving work at work (see paragraph above regarding rediscovered emotions). But, I think I’m getting better. I don’t feel quite as drained in the evenings anymore.

The draining was seriously impacting my studies. I just haven’t had the mental energy to study. Currently failing my class and I only have about a week to fix that. I will, I’m sure, just need to spend some time pushing through, this evening especially.

On that … I have big news … I quit the Masters program. Well, I’m at least putting it on hold for now. This will be my last class. I can come back to it in the future and the school has been super supportive of my decision. Simple explanation is that I haven’t had the passion for it in over 6 months. I have tried renewing my desire and drive to see it through, but it’s just not there. I’m was really only staying in out of misplaced obligation and fear of not getting the student loan money. See, I’ve been making ends meet with the additional loan money. It’s a fairly large amount that my budget is short now without it all. I kept hearing God ask me if I was going to trust Him. I’d dismiss it with thinking it was a large amount and I didn’t want to break my commitment to school. Like the large amount of money was an issue for the Creator and Owner of the universe! So, I’m putting my trust in Him and giving up something that really wasn’t giving me peace anymore. I totally do not regret starting the program!! I’ve learned things, but most importantly I met some amazing people.

Where am I going now? I’ve got a couple of ideas, but I’m really excited to see what unseen doors God is opening for me. I am considering going to the community college part-time and photography classes. I’ve already applied and been accepted into their Fine Arts program. Being part-time in school will keep the loans in deferment, so added bonus there. I am also seeking a 2nd job. Just some hours on Saturday afternoons and/or evenings and maybe a little time on Sunday afternoons. I really want to start doing some freelance photography gigs, so I’ll be looking for those as well.

Also, I starting 2 other things. I am going to start volunteering for a local cat rescue called Tenth Life. They focus on kitties with special needs and have an adoption center that is open on the weekends. In the center, it’s set up like a big living room and a bunch of the cats are there to play, snuggle, or just hang out with. They also have about 100 in foster care. I’m hoping to do some photography projects for them, like getting pics of the fosters. The other thing is that I’m now the Missions Coordinator at my church. It’s a new role and we’re still defining it, but I know I’ll oversee/coordinate/promote outreaches locally and worldwide. I’m in contact with one missionary we support in Africa, who rescues girls from the sex trade and stuff. I’ll probably talk about that more at a later time.

Oh, what else??? Looking at different apartments for when my lease ends later this year. Really interested in learning more about the loft district in downtown, which I thought would be totally out of my reach but they’ve come down in price lately. Actually less than what I’m paying now. Just a thought.

Alright, I’m going to pack up my laptop and head home. I’ve been sitting at a coffeehouse working on homework and this blog for a few hours. I need to go before I spend more money!! 🙂

Have a wonderful Easter! Remember to take a look in the tomb. He ain’t there anymore!!

Published by tammyk777

I want to be as open as possible, safely anyway. If I've been set free in something, maybe I can encourage someone else to seek God and they can be free too!

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